BReak Free From Unhealthy Patterns

Therapy for interpersonal relationships acrossWashington State

It feels like I’m giving everything—my time, my energy, my support—and yet somehow this relationship seems impossible.

Relationships, whether with your family, friends, or partners, might feel like an uphill battle. You struggle with communication (not being able to say what you need), setting boundaries (and not feeling guilty), and trying to be independent. (and not anxious or avoidant), And sometimes you find yourself feeling resentful at the people who always need you.

You might find yourself thinking:

  • “What do they need now?” or “Why can’t they figure it out themselves?”

  • “I’m always the one doing everything for everyone.”

  • “I’m always there when they need me with no judgment, but when I need them, they just point out all my mistakes.”

  • “I feel like I have to hide how I’m really feeling. I can’t say no because then they think I don’t love them.”

  • “I never ask for help because I don’t want to be a burden.”

Somehow it feels like you’re always the mom in all of your relationships and end up having to put everyone first. Whether it’s being the planner or the fixer, you always have to put yourself aside to solve someone else’s problems. Even though this is how it’s always been, you’ve known for a while that it’s wearing you down. And now you’re realizing you can’t do this forever.

A true connection can only form when people can fully accept each other as they truly are.

My Approach

How can we know if we have never tried anything different?

For the longest time, you’ve done it all. You put in the majority of the work. You’re the one checking in, the one fixing things, the one who never wants to burden anyone. But when you need support, no one is really there. Over time, this builds up, often leading to feelings of exhaustion, resentment, and questioning yourself, like maybe you’re the one asking for too much.

For many Latinx and POC women, this pattern starts early. Maybe you grew up translating at doctor’s appointments, taking care of younger siblings, or figuring out grown-up things (like how to set up the internet). You learned that love had to be earned, that being “good” meant putting yourself last, and that setting boundaries wasn’t an option. That kind of pressure doesn’t leave us when we get older—it shows up in friendships, romantic relationships, and even at work.

You want things to be different. It can feel impossible to change yourself and scary to think of how others will respond. When we’ve been stuck in the same place for a long time, we can forget that we—as well as the people in our lives—are capable of change. But we can’t know that unless we give them and ourselves a chance to do something different.

Therapy is a space where you can put yourself first—without guilt. We’ll explore where these patterns started, how they’re showing up in your relationships now, and what it would feel like to create connections that don’t revolve around obligation, guilt, or proving your worth. We’ll work on boundaries that feel doable, learn to communicate what you need (and what that looks like), and find ways to create relationships where you can take care of yourself and others.

You deserve to feel supported too.

Therapy for relationship support can help you:

  • Figure out what you need—not just what everyone else expects from you.

  • Stop dreading calls from your parents and set boundaries without guilt.

  • Ask for help without feeling like a burden.

  • Let go of one-sided friendships where you're always the “fixer.”

  • Express how you feel instead of pretending you’re fine all the time.

  • Recognize when you're overextending yourself before burnout hits.

  • Say no without over-explaining or feeling selfish.

  • Understand why you keep ending up in the same frustrating relationship patterns. 

Frequently asked questions about Relationship-Focused therapy

FAQs

  • A big part of learning to have healthier relationships is understanding ourselves first. It involves understanding your own values, needs, and wants. Together we will learn what those are and how your past has influenced this. I do not do couples work. Learn more.

  • No. I find my best work to be with one individual because then I can focus in-depth on various areas. And I don’t want to limit my work with someone by just focusing on their relationships with their spouse/partner. However, I do apply many principles from couples’ work (such as Gottman). Learn more.

  • You’re not alone—many Latina and women of color are taught that saying yes (even at their own expense) is a sign of being a good daughter, friend, or partner. Our culture raised us to be caretakers without teaching us how to take care of ourselves first.

    We’ll work on setting boundaries in a way that feels natural to you, so you don’t have to choose between keeping relationships and meeting your own needs. Learn more.

 You deserve to feel supported too.