You can take back control.
Therapy for intergenerational trauma across Washington State.
It’s always been this way. That is just how things are, and how they are always going to be.
But it doesn’t have to be.
Every time your family has a problem, you’re the one who steps in to fix it—constantly trying to manage things because no one else wants to or can’t.
It might have started when you were younger. Maybe you were the translator for your parents or when something needed to get done, they put it on you because they didn’t know how.
Now you’re the fixer of the family. The overachiever who never says no. It feels like you’re both the grown-up and somehow never grown up enough. You might feel like you’re the “mother” to your own mom, taking on her emotions and problems while ignoring your own. Meanwhile, your mom still treats you like a teenager and manages to make you feel like you are not good enough.
It’s exhausting. You’re often left wondering, “When do I get to stop being the fixer?” And you end up convincing yourself that if you just do a good enough job, you can finally take a break. But somehow that break never comes—maybe because the problems never end or because you realize you can’t rely on anyone not when you're supposed to be the one everyone counts on.
“Pain travels through families until someone is ready to feel it.”
- Stephi Wagner
My Approach
Everything you are carrying—finally, let yourself set it down.
I understand that it can feel like your struggles are a result of something you've done wrong, but I’m here to help you see things differently. The patterns and habits that show up in your life aren’t personal failures—they're often shaped by the experiences and struggles of those who came before you. Together, we’ll explore these patterns by talking about our family’s life experiences and how that impacts us.
We'll take a close look at your family history to uncover the ways trauma has been passed down through generations. This isn't about blaming anyone, it's about recognizing how societal and cultural structures have impacted you over time. I'll help you separate what you've inherited from what's truly yours, empowering you to make choices that align with who you are in the present—not the past.
Throughout this process, we’ll also dig into your values. We'll explore what matters to you, helping you distinguish between the real you and what you may have adopted from tradition or family expectations. Sometimes, I’ll share my own experiences as an immigrant, offering you a sense of connection and understanding as we work through this together.
My ultimate goal is to help you reclaim your life and create a future built on your own choices, free from the weight of inherited trauma.
Therapy for intergenerational trauma can help you…
Understand the trauma your family has endured and how it is impacting you.
Identify what’s beyond your control and focus on what you can change.
Find ways to cope with discomfort instead of avoiding it.
Learn how to be okay with meeting your needs, without making yourself smaller for other people.
Start feeling relief from the anxiety, fear, and pressure that’s been weighing you down.
See that you’re not stuck in the patterns that came before you.
Learn that perfection isn’t the goal—and it’s okay to make mistakes.
Let go of feeling like you have to be your parent’s caretaker and rediscover your role as their child.
Stop carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders and learn how to share responsibility.
Frequently asked questions about Intergenerational Trauma therapy
FAQs
-
Trauma can come in many forms such as historical trauma, racial trauma, financial trauma, abuse, systemic harm etc. It can destabilize a family and lead to harmful coping skills or behaviors that may help us at first (by getting us through a difficult time), but ultimately are harmful by making people feel burned out and inadequate. .Learn more.
-
You might feel overwhelmed, responsible, and burnt out, constantly managing your family’s emotions and crises at the expense of your own well-being. If you’ve thought, “When will I feel like an adult?” or “I have to fix everything for my family,” these could be signs of intergenerational trauma, stemming from learned behaviors passed down through generations. Learn more.
-
This comes up a lot. Latino & families of color often have a hard time understanding mental health, including how therapy helps. Especially if they themselves don’t understand how their trauma has impacted them. Some families can be resistant supporting you in these changes at first because it means things change for them. It can be a transition at first, but get’s easier as you become more sustainable. Learn more.
-
This is a really good question. While we can’t control our family and how they respond, we can control ourselves. Part of therapy is finding out what kind of relationship you want with your family. I will never tell you to cut off people who are important to you. But it is important to reflect in how we show up into our relationships.